Stress – A natural response to an unnatural world

Infinite Bliss Podcast – Episode 6

Your mind is designed to keep you alive. It’s a finely tuned survival machine, but it’s operating in an environment for which it was never designed. So now the airbags keep going off for all the wrong reasons.

This episode will teach you how your body responds to stress and how to reprogram this default behavior.

There’s no need to have a heart attack just because you have a report due in the morning, so stop letting your “woolly mammoth” avoidance system tell you that you have a problem.

You will become an unstoppable human that doesn’t live in their head, constantly battling with the world. Instead, you’ll be able to enjoy the real world and remain present even though your mind might be telling you that you should be upset or angry or defensive.

You’ll become super human.

Thanks for listening my friends.

Mat Robinson ~ The Gregarious Hermit

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Transcript

You’re listening to the Infinite Bliss Podcast. I’m your host, Mat Robinson, The Gregarious Hermit.

Join me each week as I take you on a journey of inner exploration to uncover the subtle connections between mind, body and spirit. I want to teach you how to regain control of your mind so you can let go of the drama in your life and experience deep inner-peace and infinite bliss.

Hi everybody. Welcome and thank you for joining me. As you probably know by now, I’m a very visual thinker. I love analogies and metaphors because they help us understand complex ideas.

This week’s episode is going to be all about stress, and I’m going to use a rather silly analogy to help you understand what it is, why we experience it, and more importantly, how to control it.

You’ll be able to systematically pick away at stress and its triggers until you don’t experience it any more.
If you’ve seen the movie Men in Black, there’s a scene where one of the aliens heads opens up to reveal this really cute, tiny alien living inside. Controlling what turns out to be a human like exo-suit.

Now you don’t have a little version of yourself living inside your head, pulling levers and controls. But your mind in many ways is a little bit like a little security guard sitting in a command and control center up inside your brain.

If you can imagine him sitting at a desk with a suite of TV monitors that show him a 360 degree view of what’s going on around you, imagine the guy’s just sitting there with his feet up on the desk drinking coffee and just monitoring everything that’s going on.

Now, his only job is to alert you when he spots any danger.

So if on one of the monitors he sees someone creeping up behind you, he’ll hit the big red button on the desk, that gives you a little shot of adrenaline to shock you out of what you’re concentrating on. You react to the shock, turn around to see what your mind just alerted you to and then decide if it’s something really dangerous or not. Do you need to react and take action?

Now, if you do react to the danger, your mind or your internal security guard sitting in his command and control center will add that danger to a running list of specific threats he needs to keep an eye out for in the future.

When we’re born, this list of threats is empty, except apparently for the fear of falling. I just learned that this is called the Moro reflex, where a baby is startled and they fling their arms and legs out wide and arch their back. Supposedly, this is the only innate phobia that we’re born with. But otherwise, our list of dangers and fears is a completely blank slate.

But as you go through life, you experience situations that are dangerous or make you uncomfortable, and so they get added to your list so your mind can keep an eye out for them in the future.

So if you get chased by a woolly mammoth, that’s an obvious threat to your existence. It gets added to your list of things to be cautious about. If I step out in front of a car, hopefully I don’t get hit by the car, but I will get hit by a shot of adrenaline and “crossing the road” gets added to my list.

If I get bitten by a dog, my mind will add that specific dog to the list of fears to be avoided in the future. But it will also add all dogs and even other animals that are similar to a dog. The fear of dogs becomes an archetype for all similar mammals.

If I eat red berries and they make me sick, they get added to the list of things to be avoided in the future.

If I burn my hand on a match, I become wary of matches.

If I get mugged on the subway, I become wary of the subway.

And if I’m in a math class and the teacher asks me a question in front of everyone that I can’t answer or I get the answer wrong. If people laugh at me or I feel like they’re judging me, I will develop a fear of judgment.

I’m going to do an entire episode on this subject because I feel like this is the number one problem affecting society these days, and especially the younger generations that were brought up with smartphones and social media.

Now, this warning system is a little more sophisticated than just a big red button that delivers a huge shot of adrenaline. If I see a bear all the way across the valley, way off in the distance, I’m not going to freak out and start panicking. But my security guard will keep giving me a slow trickle of these stress hormones to keep me alert and wary.

But if I turn around and there’s a bear standing right next to me, then I’ll get a huge shot of adrenaline, prompting immediate action.

So our security guard gives us a small dose if the danger doesn’t seem imminent or a big threat and a large shot of adrenaline if it’s something immediate or life threatening. That’s why I don’t freak out every time I see a car. But every time I cross the street, I will look both ways because my mind gives me a tiny reminder of that time I nearly got run over.

So this primitive system seems to be working just fine. It’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do and keeping us alive. Only now it’s working in an environment for which it was never designed.

Here’s another great analogy. Flippers are great for snorkeling, but they make lousy dance shoes. And your mind is no different. It’s great for keeping a safe from immediate existential harm, but it’s terrible when it comes to deciding what is a real threat. In the absence of real dangers in our modern world, it seems to get confused and triggered easily by the most trivial of discomforts.

Our ancestors faced imminent death on a daily basis, and so this system of shock therapy worked really well to keep us alive and evolve the species. There were very few things to worry about, lots of things that could kill us. But our world is so different now. There are not so many things that can kill us, but lots of things to worry about.

I’m not constantly on the lookout for tigers and woolly mammoths. And thanks to my well-built house, I don’t run the risk of a mountain lion finding its way into my shelter. And the seasons or the elements don’t mean certain death anymore. If I run out of food in the winter, I just need to put on my warm clothes, jump in my heated car and go to the local store.

So our real world existential threats are minimized, and what’s left on our list of things to be fearful of? Oh, yeah. Someone making fun of me. Someone judging me.

Fear of judgment has become the number one fear on the planet for many reasons. But this non-life threatening fear is like seeing a bear across the valley. It’s there. Your mind keeps an eye on it, and it keeps releasing a slow but steady trickle of adrenaline and cortisol and other stress hormones. Not the mega shot that you experience when you’re involved in a car crash, but just a slow trickle.

Let me give you an example. Fear of public speaking is apparently the number one fear. Although I disagree with that, and I’ll show you why in a moment.

So much for a survival of the species. Now, I’m afraid of speaking.

But am I really afraid of speaking? Or am I afraid I’ll say the wrong thing, forget what I’m supposed to say or my pants will fall down?

Okay, well, let’s take that a step further. What if I say the wrong thing? There’s no real danger there. What if I forget what to say? There’s no danger there either. And what if my pants fall down? There’s no danger there.

So let’s take it a step further again. If any of those things happen to me, there’s a chance that you guys will laugh at me and make fun of me. And these days, I could become a meme. That’s something that has happened to all of us at some point. Not the meme thing, but somebody making fun of you and making you feel uncomfortable.

Laughing at memes and making fun of other people makes us fear people laughing at us and making fun of us.

But something in our past made us feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and so our little tiny security guard said, “I better put that on my list of things to look out for in the future, and avoid it at all costs. And when I see that situation approaching in the future, I will alert my human with a tiny little shot of stress hormones.”

I’m not really afraid of public speaking. I’m afraid of what you guys will think of me if I screw up.

So what happens when we get that shot of adrenaline or cortisol? We experience a stress response in the body. Our muscles tense up, ready for action. Our heart rate goes up along with our blood pressure. Our breathing quickens and we release glucose into the bloodstream in preparation for a fight or flight response.

All those things are great if I need to run away from a squirrel or fight for my life. But just because I have a report due in the morning and I’m afraid my boss will judge me if I don’t get it finished, I shouldn’t be releasing those same chemicals. But our primitive mind doesn’t know the difference between “bear attack” and “Excel report due.”

It’s a low-level danger that got put on my list by my, well-meaning security guard, but the problem with releasing those chemicals, even in small doses, is that they do real harm to your body. They disrupt your digestive system, for starters. GI problems, anybody? And of course, elevated blood sugar, high blood pressure and raised heart rate are not good for you long term.

In a nutshell, stress kills.

Okay, So if stress is so bad for us and we understand that there is no real danger in the things that our mind is getting frantic about, how do we tell our little security guard that he can stop freaking out and smashing that red button over every little tiny thing? I shouldn’t have a heart attack because I have a report due first thing in the morning.

Reprogram Your Mind – two simple steps

Well, the good news is that it’s very easy to reprogram your mind. There are two steps. First, we have to stop reacting to the mind as much as possible.

If the problem remains just a thought and you don’t physically react to it, then your mind will start to understand that you don’t care about that. You don’t feel threatened. So it’s not something it needs to keep warning you about.

I spill my coffee. Oh, well, now I need to get a new one. Or go without. No drama. Cancel the five alarm fire.

If I don’t act out and throw a tantrum, if I keep my mouth shut and don’t utter a word of annoyance, I don’t allow that thought to become physical. So it remains just a thought and will soon pass.

The second thing we need to do is to actively tell our mind that we feel safe. There’s no need for any drama here. How do we do that? Do I leave a little polite Post-it note for the security guard, or do I send my mind a text loaded with smiley heart emojis?

No, it’s even easier than that. I simply breathe.

Breathing is a funny part of our anatomy. I can control my breathing. I can slow it down or speed it up. And I can hold my breath. For a short period anyway. But if I’m not paying it any attention, breathing just happens all on its own. So breathing is the only part of our physiology that seems to span the conscious and subconscious mind.

I can’t make my liver do its thing more efficiently and I can’t directly make my heart beat faster. But I can control my breathing. So we can use that to send a message to our mind that we feel safe.

We can reprogram our security guard just by breathing.

When your mind doesn’t perceive any danger, you’re breathing is slow and gentle.

Think about when you’re falling asleep. Your muscles relax. Your breathing slows. Your mind has to feel safe in order for that to happen. Now, when your mind is making you breathe quickly because of a perceived danger, you can literally take control of your breathing in that situation and slow it down. That sends the message to your mind that you’re not scared. You feel safe and that you’re not in any real danger. You take it down a few notches from DEFCON one.

That’s it. It really is that simple.

Just allow the thoughts to be. Don’t engage with them. Don’t turn them into a physical reaction and just breathe slowly. Your security guard will see that you don’t react and will stop alerting you to trivial things going forward.

Typically, people learn this through years of meditation, relaxing and calming their bodies through slow and deep, concentrated breathing. But you can just do what I like to call the one-breath-Xanax.

Whenever you detect a stress response in your body. Elevated heart rate, faster breathing muscle tension, and maybe even that queasy feeling from the shot of adrenaline in your stomach. Assess whether it’s a real threat. Whether you feel like your life is in danger or not. And then simply take a deep breath. Hold at the top for a second. And then as you breathe out, just gently relax every single muscle and feel the blood flow returning to normal again. Then just continue to breathe slowly for a few more breaths until the panic feeling and stress response dissipate.

And just remind yourself, taking action towards getting your report done is the only thing that will move the project along. Worrying about your deadlines doesn’t do anything other than put you one step closer to a heart attack.

You replace worry with peace and that peace allows you to concentrate and get the project done. Instead of wasting time worrying that you’ll have to pull an all-nighter, all of your energy and mental powers will be available to work on your report so you become more efficient, less distracted, and maybe then you won’t have to stay up all night.

And don’t worry. There, I said it. Don’t worry. But you will still get that big shot of adrenaline when you’re out shopping and you suddenly realize that you’re being stalked by a tiger in the supermarket.

You’re inner security guard won’t let you down, but you’re just raising the trigger threshold to stop freaking out whenever he sees his own shadow.

If you’re enjoying this podcast, don’t forget to like and subscribe. But also, if you value the content and are getting something out of it, consider buying me a coffee or even sponsoring an episode to keep the lights on down here in the Hermit cave.

There are links down below. Or you can visit my website – TheGregariousHermit.com/podcast – and you’ll find the links on there too.

Summary

Okay, so remember, whenever you start worrying or you get that panicky feeling, assess whether it’s a real existential threat to your life. And if not, take a deep breath, hold for a second, and then relax and release all the muscle tension as you breathe out, then continue to signal to your mind that you feel safe by breathing slowly and calmly.

If you keep reprogramming your mind in this way, pretty soon you’ll be able to experience deep inner-peace and infinite bliss.

All right. Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you on the next episode.

Bye for now.

Mat Robinson ~ The Gregarious Hermit

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